Twitter - a Michael Jackson twibute

Hello again, my dears.

Many people have asked me when Stephen's legendary, and some might even go so far as to say imaginary, performance at Glastonbury will be available to purchase on DVD. Sadly, due to an excess of mud and class C drugs in the sound equipment and sound equipment operator, I'm afraid to say the only record of Stephen's awe-inspiring tribute to Michael Jackson is the following transcript. However, a studio recorded single will be released at the end of the month, with all proceeds going to the Michael Jackson Give a Child a Bed Foundation. Until then, here are the lyrics from Stephen's unforgettable performance:

Twitter (a Michael Jackson twibute)

(funky intro as Stephen moonwalks onstage. Then offstage. Then finally, with the assistance of two roadies, back onstage again . .)
It's close to midnight and somehow you've crawled in late from the bars,
You check your laptop to see if you can find some topless stars,
You start to yawn, but Twitter takes the sound before you make it.
You start to tweet, and suddenly your willpower has died . .
. . . You're Stephen Fried !
'Cause this is Twitter, Twitter night,
And no-one's gonna stop you from the tweets you're gonna write.
You know it's Twitter, Twitter night,
You're fighting for your life against that Twitter critter tonight . . .

Ash Kutcher calls and his Demi enthralls in their mass charade,
There's no retweeting their god awful meeting this time,
They have a whale of a time . . .

(ba-bada-bum)

You read the porn spam, and suddenly you can't believe your luck,
They seem such nice girls, that Horny Kitty chick and Britney F****d.
You close your eyes, and hope that this is something like flirtation,
But all too soon, they hear your moaning out there in the streets,
You're out of tweets!

'Cause this is Twitter, Twitter night,
You're only on to tweet but found that Michael Jackson's died.
Yes, this is Twitter, Twitter night,
He's fighting for his life inside a bitter Twitter, baby-sitter, Gary Glitter tonight . . .

(Stephen does his best Vincent Price voice . . .)

Darkness falls across the screen,
Your battery light is flashing green,
You crawl around in search of leads
To satisfy your twitter needs.

And whosoever shall be nerds,
Use acronyms instead of words.
Must stand and face the hounds of hell,
WOOFLMAO and LOL!

The foulest stench, your laundry box,
The funk of forty thousand socks
While pizza boxes seal your doom,
And clutter up your living room . .

And though you try to go to bed
Your finger starts to jitter,
'Cause no mere mortal can resist . .
The evil of the Twitter!

Mwuhahahahahahahahahahahahaha . . . . . .