Thursday 16 July 2009

Twitter - a Michael Jackson twibute

Hello again, my dears.

Many people have asked me when Stephen's legendary, and some might even go so far as to say imaginary, performance at Glastonbury will be available to purchase on DVD. Sadly, due to an excess of mud and class C drugs in the sound equipment and sound equipment operator, I'm afraid to say the only record of Stephen's awe-inspiring tribute to Michael Jackson is the following transcript. However, a studio recorded single will be released at the end of the month, with all proceeds going to the Michael Jackson Give a Child a Bed Foundation. Until then, here are the lyrics from Stephen's unforgettable performance:

Twitter (a Michael Jackson twibute)

(funky intro as Stephen moonwalks onstage. Then offstage. Then finally, with the assistance of two roadies, back onstage again . .)
It's close to midnight and somehow you've crawled in late from the bars,
You check your laptop to see if you can find some topless stars,
You start to yawn, but Twitter takes the sound before you make it.
You start to tweet, and suddenly your willpower has died . .
. . . You're Stephen Fried !
'Cause this is Twitter, Twitter night,
And no-one's gonna stop you from the tweets you're gonna write.
You know it's Twitter, Twitter night,
You're fighting for your life against that Twitter critter tonight . . .

Ash Kutcher calls and his Demi enthralls in their mass charade,
There's no retweeting their god awful meeting this time,
They have a whale of a time . . .

(ba-bada-bum)

You read the porn spam, and suddenly you can't believe your luck,
They seem such nice girls, that Horny Kitty chick and Britney F****d.
You close your eyes, and hope that this is something like flirtation,
But all too soon, they hear your moaning out there in the streets,
You're out of tweets!

'Cause this is Twitter, Twitter night,
You're only on to tweet but found that Michael Jackson's died.
Yes, this is Twitter, Twitter night,
He's fighting for his life inside a bitter Twitter, baby-sitter, Gary Glitter tonight . . .

(Stephen does his best Vincent Price voice . . .)

Darkness falls across the screen,
Your battery light is flashing green,
You crawl around in search of leads
To satisfy your twitter needs.

And whosoever shall be nerds,
Use acronyms instead of words.
Must stand and face the hounds of hell,
WOOFLMAO and LOL!

The foulest stench, your laundry box,
The funk of forty thousand socks
While pizza boxes seal your doom,
And clutter up your living room . .

And though you try to go to bed
Your finger starts to jitter,
'Cause no mere mortal can resist . .
The evil of the Twitter!

Mwuhahahahahahahahahahahahaha . . . . . .

18 comments:

  1. Once a performer gets to the top of the music game there's nowhere to go but down. Watch for signs of Stephens' musical career spiraling out of control. Signs include increasing debauchery, Mayonnaise abuse, bouts of prolific profanity, and chaining himself to the piano yelling.."My name is Sybil". Since you have "family" that have already taken that ride you should be familiar with the symptoms.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love this ... very funny ...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Really excellent. I'll be singing it all day.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Your husband is certainly a Maestro, Edna, unfortunately an Austin Maestro, noted for a variety of novel features (according to Wiki) including homofocal headlamps which might explain the kerb crawling around Hampstead Heath.

    With kindest regards
    Walter

    ReplyDelete
  5. OMG, it's so true that after awhile you start to look like your spouse! I mean, you're almost the splitting image of him. Weird. Oh, btw, who's Michael Jackson?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Wow. Such a thriller to read.

    ReplyDelete
  7. the moonwalk alone would be enough as a tribute, I suppose, and what followed was certainly aimed to please the fans and the critics

    ReplyDelete
  8. As the annoying little person that I am I feel pressed to point out that if he was that jacked up on alternative mood enhancers he really isn't a very SOUND equipment operator at all!

    ReplyDelete
  9. FANTASTIC! thanks dear xx

    ReplyDelete
  10. Ohhhh... that is WONDERFUL! FANTASTIC!

    Best MJ TWIBUTE EVER!

    ReplyDelete
  11. fantastic....

    ReplyDelete
  12. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Edna,

    My dear one, we really need you to get this on to EntertainmentTonight. Its a "curtain twitching" channel here in Yankeeland.

    I am kind of embarrassed, as an English-bloodian, that I watch such a channel, but I fear that its the only way to learn of 'all' the news 'as it happens'.

    You - my dear - are 'the news', your Twibute is happening.

    All love,

    ReplyDelete
  14. If you could dig up the video of this -- even the audio -- I'm sure BAFTA, the Academy and whatever passes for Canadian recognition of the arts will be falling over themselves with adulation.

    (But I'm still trying to figure out what WOOFLMAO means.)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Lovely cover art. Your Stephen has lovely hair. You are too lucky Mrs Fry. Or maybe it is he who is too lucky to have found a muse such as yourself?

    ReplyDelete
  16. Did I mention all was lovely? Thought not.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Twitterlicious indeed! muy bien amigo!

    ReplyDelete
  18. I've read and sung it twice now. It's actually growing on me. Scary.

    ReplyDelete

Thursday 16 July 2009

Twitter - a Michael Jackson twibute

Hello again, my dears.

Many people have asked me when Stephen's legendary, and some might even go so far as to say imaginary, performance at Glastonbury will be available to purchase on DVD. Sadly, due to an excess of mud and class C drugs in the sound equipment and sound equipment operator, I'm afraid to say the only record of Stephen's awe-inspiring tribute to Michael Jackson is the following transcript. However, a studio recorded single will be released at the end of the month, with all proceeds going to the Michael Jackson Give a Child a Bed Foundation. Until then, here are the lyrics from Stephen's unforgettable performance:

Twitter (a Michael Jackson twibute)

(funky intro as Stephen moonwalks onstage. Then offstage. Then finally, with the assistance of two roadies, back onstage again . .)
It's close to midnight and somehow you've crawled in late from the bars,
You check your laptop to see if you can find some topless stars,
You start to yawn, but Twitter takes the sound before you make it.
You start to tweet, and suddenly your willpower has died . .
. . . You're Stephen Fried !
'Cause this is Twitter, Twitter night,
And no-one's gonna stop you from the tweets you're gonna write.
You know it's Twitter, Twitter night,
You're fighting for your life against that Twitter critter tonight . . .

Ash Kutcher calls and his Demi enthralls in their mass charade,
There's no retweeting their god awful meeting this time,
They have a whale of a time . . .

(ba-bada-bum)

You read the porn spam, and suddenly you can't believe your luck,
They seem such nice girls, that Horny Kitty chick and Britney F****d.
You close your eyes, and hope that this is something like flirtation,
But all too soon, they hear your moaning out there in the streets,
You're out of tweets!

'Cause this is Twitter, Twitter night,
You're only on to tweet but found that Michael Jackson's died.
Yes, this is Twitter, Twitter night,
He's fighting for his life inside a bitter Twitter, baby-sitter, Gary Glitter tonight . . .

(Stephen does his best Vincent Price voice . . .)

Darkness falls across the screen,
Your battery light is flashing green,
You crawl around in search of leads
To satisfy your twitter needs.

And whosoever shall be nerds,
Use acronyms instead of words.
Must stand and face the hounds of hell,
WOOFLMAO and LOL!

The foulest stench, your laundry box,
The funk of forty thousand socks
While pizza boxes seal your doom,
And clutter up your living room . .

And though you try to go to bed
Your finger starts to jitter,
'Cause no mere mortal can resist . .
The evil of the Twitter!

Mwuhahahahahahahahahahahahaha . . . . . .

18 comments:

  1. Once a performer gets to the top of the music game there's nowhere to go but down. Watch for signs of Stephens' musical career spiraling out of control. Signs include increasing debauchery, Mayonnaise abuse, bouts of prolific profanity, and chaining himself to the piano yelling.."My name is Sybil". Since you have "family" that have already taken that ride you should be familiar with the symptoms.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love this ... very funny ...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Really excellent. I'll be singing it all day.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Your husband is certainly a Maestro, Edna, unfortunately an Austin Maestro, noted for a variety of novel features (according to Wiki) including homofocal headlamps which might explain the kerb crawling around Hampstead Heath.

    With kindest regards
    Walter

    ReplyDelete
  5. OMG, it's so true that after awhile you start to look like your spouse! I mean, you're almost the splitting image of him. Weird. Oh, btw, who's Michael Jackson?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Wow. Such a thriller to read.

    ReplyDelete
  7. the moonwalk alone would be enough as a tribute, I suppose, and what followed was certainly aimed to please the fans and the critics

    ReplyDelete
  8. As the annoying little person that I am I feel pressed to point out that if he was that jacked up on alternative mood enhancers he really isn't a very SOUND equipment operator at all!

    ReplyDelete
  9. FANTASTIC! thanks dear xx

    ReplyDelete
  10. Ohhhh... that is WONDERFUL! FANTASTIC!

    Best MJ TWIBUTE EVER!

    ReplyDelete
  11. fantastic....

    ReplyDelete
  12. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Edna,

    My dear one, we really need you to get this on to EntertainmentTonight. Its a "curtain twitching" channel here in Yankeeland.

    I am kind of embarrassed, as an English-bloodian, that I watch such a channel, but I fear that its the only way to learn of 'all' the news 'as it happens'.

    You - my dear - are 'the news', your Twibute is happening.

    All love,

    ReplyDelete
  14. If you could dig up the video of this -- even the audio -- I'm sure BAFTA, the Academy and whatever passes for Canadian recognition of the arts will be falling over themselves with adulation.

    (But I'm still trying to figure out what WOOFLMAO means.)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Lovely cover art. Your Stephen has lovely hair. You are too lucky Mrs Fry. Or maybe it is he who is too lucky to have found a muse such as yourself?

    ReplyDelete
  16. Did I mention all was lovely? Thought not.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Twitterlicious indeed! muy bien amigo!

    ReplyDelete
  18. I've read and sung it twice now. It's actually growing on me. Scary.

    ReplyDelete